"Love the Lord, all you Saints! The Lord preserves the faithful"
As I sit here, tears come to my eyes. I yearn for that love. I yearn for that to be my life's plea. And so many time it's drown out by busyness surrounding me. Much of this busyness is good. I love people (most of the time :) ), hanging out with people. I try to exercise semi-frequently. I love the work I am doing now. It brings fulfillment. I have a pretty studly fiance that I love. I'm trying to become a bit more domestic. I want to stay connected to my family back home. I can be quite lazy though too. Sleeping is probably my favorite pasttime :). I get cranky if I don't have enough sleep. I can surf the web or do other mindless activities for a while.
I was telling a co-worker the other day about my semester long mission trip over seas nearly two years ago now...crazy how time flies. There was some things that I loved and some disappointments as well. Yet, I realize more now what God truly taught me through that trip that he couldn't teach me here. Yes, he taught me about poverty and compassion and giving. One of the biggest things though is that He taught me that He was enough. He had to take everything out of my life so that I had to be dependent only on Him. By golly, did he have to move me to a third world country to teach me that? YOU BET! And I so miss it. I miss spending 2 hours a night with Him before going to sleep. I miss talking to Him walking down the street.
I love my life now. I'm thankful for His blessings. I'm thankful to be done with school right now. Hallejuah! So often though, I rely on what I have or who I am instead of on Jesus to sustain me. My 2 hours a day of spending time with Him is usually 10 minutes a day if I'm lucky. I know suffering and hardship can be used for good. Something I'm trying to accept though is that comfort is okay to an extent. I don't have to repulse nice things or a good job or a good man just to be miserable "for the sake of suffering". I think that has been my mentality before. Yet, it does get more difficult to stay kingdom minded with the more comfort I have here, the more stuff to occupy my time and mind. God can give nice things, nice jobs, nice houses, nice families. God can also take away all of those things. I want to be content in all things, rich or poor. As Christians, we are sojourners of this earth. It's not my home. As I'm getting caught up with my future, house stuff, wedding stuff, it's a good reminder that this is just passing away. I want to live abundantly here. If Jesus blesses me with nice things or wonderful people, great. But that cannot be my sustenance. Because when everything is taken away, we realize that He is what we really need. May we live with utter dependence on Him whether life is going well or falling apart.
"Love the Lord all you saints!" Regardless of the season of life I'm in, I want that to be my plea.
As I sit here, tears come to my eyes. I yearn for that love. I yearn for that to be my life's plea. And so many time it's drown out by busyness surrounding me. Much of this busyness is good. I love people (most of the time :) ), hanging out with people. I try to exercise semi-frequently. I love the work I am doing now. It brings fulfillment. I have a pretty studly fiance that I love. I'm trying to become a bit more domestic. I want to stay connected to my family back home. I can be quite lazy though too. Sleeping is probably my favorite pasttime :). I get cranky if I don't have enough sleep. I can surf the web or do other mindless activities for a while.
I was telling a co-worker the other day about my semester long mission trip over seas nearly two years ago now...crazy how time flies. There was some things that I loved and some disappointments as well. Yet, I realize more now what God truly taught me through that trip that he couldn't teach me here. Yes, he taught me about poverty and compassion and giving. One of the biggest things though is that He taught me that He was enough. He had to take everything out of my life so that I had to be dependent only on Him. By golly, did he have to move me to a third world country to teach me that? YOU BET! And I so miss it. I miss spending 2 hours a night with Him before going to sleep. I miss talking to Him walking down the street.
I love my life now. I'm thankful for His blessings. I'm thankful to be done with school right now. Hallejuah! So often though, I rely on what I have or who I am instead of on Jesus to sustain me. My 2 hours a day of spending time with Him is usually 10 minutes a day if I'm lucky. I know suffering and hardship can be used for good. Something I'm trying to accept though is that comfort is okay to an extent. I don't have to repulse nice things or a good job or a good man just to be miserable "for the sake of suffering". I think that has been my mentality before. Yet, it does get more difficult to stay kingdom minded with the more comfort I have here, the more stuff to occupy my time and mind. God can give nice things, nice jobs, nice houses, nice families. God can also take away all of those things. I want to be content in all things, rich or poor. As Christians, we are sojourners of this earth. It's not my home. As I'm getting caught up with my future, house stuff, wedding stuff, it's a good reminder that this is just passing away. I want to live abundantly here. If Jesus blesses me with nice things or wonderful people, great. But that cannot be my sustenance. Because when everything is taken away, we realize that He is what we really need. May we live with utter dependence on Him whether life is going well or falling apart.
"Love the Lord all you saints!" Regardless of the season of life I'm in, I want that to be my plea.
