Death.
I hate death. Of course I don't like any kind of death, but the death I really hate right now is suicide.
The definition of suicide is the act of killing oneself intentionally.
And I hate it.
As a counselor, this word is part of my job, and on crisis, it's part of my day to day, moment to moment routine.
It's heavy. It's dark. It's despairing. And it's painful.
And everyone who is suicidal has a story of why this life is too much to bear anymore, why the pain is too deep to hold. It's real. It's broken. The hurt is too much. Most people are not making that up. For so many, death seems like the only escape from the struggle, the only sense of relief from the constant circumstances that rip away at their soul. Life has become too excruciating to continue. So, I sit there, and I hear about horrific stories- stories that should not be a part of anyone's life, stories that have robbed people of their personhood, their sacredness, their being. Stories that are marred with darkness and suck the life and joy out of them.
And I hate it. I hate that it seems that death has won in so many instances.
John 10:10 states, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy..."
And I hate him! I hate Satan and how he has stolen innocence and purity, how he has killed joy and passion, and how he seeks to destroy one's very life through the lies that he weaves. I hate it! I hate it!
This blog is not to take a stance on "Is suicide a choice, or is suicide wrong?" Those questions are way too loaded and deserve complex answers. It is also not to make light of the struggle of suicide, because it is real, and I am so very sorry if you find yourself in that place now. Finally, it is not to undermine the lives lived by people who did commit suicide, because their lives are just as precious too.
But the purpose of the blog is to say, "Satan, I hate you! I hate the craftiness you weave into people's minds that takes away life! I hate how you deceive! I hate how you destroy."
And yet, I know I can't talk about suicide and death long before looking at my own life. I honestly can say that I have never up to this point in my life had any suicidal thoughts in regards to wanting to take my physical life. But man, does Satan not want to steal and kill and destroy my life, my innocence, my joy, and my passion through other ways? Yes he does! And how does death raise it's ugly head in my life at times? By instances like this:
"Rachel, your purpose is in your title at work."
"Rachel, you deserve people to understand you more."
"Rachel, your savings account is your security in life."
"Rachel, don't share that vulnerable part of you- people aren't going to look at you the same if you do."
"Rachel, you better be perfect."
"Rachel, people aren't worth the time to love."
"Rachel, stay as busy as possible, that way you will be worth something."
"Rachel, who cares about disrespecting your husband?"
"Rachel, just keep looking at Facebook. It will take that void away."
"Rachel, you don't really have to speak the truth in love. Just ignore it. It will go away. They will go away."
And it could keep going and keep going.
I sit here in tears thinking through the lies that Satan longs to use that can steal, kill, and destroy my life. It may not seem that my sins listed above are correlated with suicide...
BUT THEY ARE!
I cannot look at actual suicide in someone else's life before smelling the faint aroma of death in my own. Charles Spurgeon says the following:
"When Satan cannot get a great sin in he will let a little one in, like the thief who goes and finds shutters all coated with iron and bolted inside. At last he sees a little window in a chamber. He cannot get in, so he puts a little boy in, that he may go round and open the back door. So the devil has always his little sins to carry about with him to go and open back doors for him, and we let one in and say, ‘O, it is only a little one.’ Yes, but how that little one becomes the ruin of the entire man!”
So, all sin does lead to death, no matter what it is.
Everything thus far seems so hopeless. And it is. Thankfully, it is not the end though. The second part of John 10:10 says, "I have come that they may have life and have it to the full."
The list that I wrote about myself above are lies that Satan uses to steal the fullness of life away from me. But Jesus longs to give me life! He longs to give me passion and purpose! He longs to breathe air into my dried up soul. And this lady needs it- DESPERATELY! I'm so sick of letting Satan's lies suck away my joy in Jesus. Satan's lies create bondage. Jesus' life creates freedom.
So, while death may seem like the only way of escape, please my hurting friend, don't get swept into the lie that death is better than life. Death destroys. Life transforms!
I hate death. Of course I don't like any kind of death, but the death I really hate right now is suicide.
The definition of suicide is the act of killing oneself intentionally.
And I hate it.
As a counselor, this word is part of my job, and on crisis, it's part of my day to day, moment to moment routine.
It's heavy. It's dark. It's despairing. And it's painful.
And everyone who is suicidal has a story of why this life is too much to bear anymore, why the pain is too deep to hold. It's real. It's broken. The hurt is too much. Most people are not making that up. For so many, death seems like the only escape from the struggle, the only sense of relief from the constant circumstances that rip away at their soul. Life has become too excruciating to continue. So, I sit there, and I hear about horrific stories- stories that should not be a part of anyone's life, stories that have robbed people of their personhood, their sacredness, their being. Stories that are marred with darkness and suck the life and joy out of them.
And I hate it. I hate that it seems that death has won in so many instances.
John 10:10 states, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy..."
And I hate him! I hate Satan and how he has stolen innocence and purity, how he has killed joy and passion, and how he seeks to destroy one's very life through the lies that he weaves. I hate it! I hate it!
This blog is not to take a stance on "Is suicide a choice, or is suicide wrong?" Those questions are way too loaded and deserve complex answers. It is also not to make light of the struggle of suicide, because it is real, and I am so very sorry if you find yourself in that place now. Finally, it is not to undermine the lives lived by people who did commit suicide, because their lives are just as precious too.
But the purpose of the blog is to say, "Satan, I hate you! I hate the craftiness you weave into people's minds that takes away life! I hate how you deceive! I hate how you destroy."
And yet, I know I can't talk about suicide and death long before looking at my own life. I honestly can say that I have never up to this point in my life had any suicidal thoughts in regards to wanting to take my physical life. But man, does Satan not want to steal and kill and destroy my life, my innocence, my joy, and my passion through other ways? Yes he does! And how does death raise it's ugly head in my life at times? By instances like this:
"Rachel, your purpose is in your title at work."
"Rachel, you deserve people to understand you more."
"Rachel, your savings account is your security in life."
"Rachel, don't share that vulnerable part of you- people aren't going to look at you the same if you do."
"Rachel, you better be perfect."
"Rachel, people aren't worth the time to love."
"Rachel, stay as busy as possible, that way you will be worth something."
"Rachel, who cares about disrespecting your husband?"
"Rachel, just keep looking at Facebook. It will take that void away."
"Rachel, you don't really have to speak the truth in love. Just ignore it. It will go away. They will go away."
And it could keep going and keep going.
I sit here in tears thinking through the lies that Satan longs to use that can steal, kill, and destroy my life. It may not seem that my sins listed above are correlated with suicide...
BUT THEY ARE!
I cannot look at actual suicide in someone else's life before smelling the faint aroma of death in my own. Charles Spurgeon says the following:
"When Satan cannot get a great sin in he will let a little one in, like the thief who goes and finds shutters all coated with iron and bolted inside. At last he sees a little window in a chamber. He cannot get in, so he puts a little boy in, that he may go round and open the back door. So the devil has always his little sins to carry about with him to go and open back doors for him, and we let one in and say, ‘O, it is only a little one.’ Yes, but how that little one becomes the ruin of the entire man!”
So, all sin does lead to death, no matter what it is.
Everything thus far seems so hopeless. And it is. Thankfully, it is not the end though. The second part of John 10:10 says, "I have come that they may have life and have it to the full."
The list that I wrote about myself above are lies that Satan uses to steal the fullness of life away from me. But Jesus longs to give me life! He longs to give me passion and purpose! He longs to breathe air into my dried up soul. And this lady needs it- DESPERATELY! I'm so sick of letting Satan's lies suck away my joy in Jesus. Satan's lies create bondage. Jesus' life creates freedom.
So, while death may seem like the only way of escape, please my hurting friend, don't get swept into the lie that death is better than life. Death destroys. Life transforms!
