If I could describe these past 2 months in 1 word, I would
say it would be FREEDOM.
Freedom from my patterns, my bondage, my perfectionism, my
control.
And it has been so so beautiful. I’m very thankful.
The more that I am on this journey called life, the more I
realize how little I have figured out. But I’m coming to a place where I am
okay with that.
My identity is not tied in what I do, who I am married to,
how much money I have, or what family I come from. My identity comes from being fully loved, delighted in, and
adored by my Maker.
Does that mean I don't want to be a Licensed
Professional Counselor so much it hurts? Not have expectations for my husband? Not want
bigger or better things? Not care about relatives/friends opinions? No, no, no,
and no. I’m still human, and people/circumstances still affect me. But my worth
is not determined by these things.
My worth is in Jesus. And because of that, I believe I am
able to have a more grateful spirit. I’m able to love my husband more the way
that Christ loves him (okay, a percentage of time I do that). I’m able to counsel from a place where it is
overflowing in my own life, even if I’m an amateur counselor. I’m able to be
free and transparent in relationships because I have nothing to hide.
This no longer is about having the picture perfect life that
I once dreamed about.
No, this is about finding out more how God uniquely made me
to be and learning to love well from this spot now- as a married, currently
childless, professional, 25 year old living in VA. And I could not be any more
grateful for where He has me now.
So, I know those valleys will appear again. I know I will so
easily become entangled in the things that I feel free from now. I know change
will happen and suffering will come. But for now, I want to remember how He’s
worked in my life and hope to encourage others that He wants to do the same in yours.
