Organic...or FAKE?

Organic foods are quite the hype these days.
There are a few things I buy organic. I would probably like to buy more, but for money and time, that doesn't happen right now.
But I feel like as Americans, a lot of our eyes have been opened. We want the real stuff...the most nutrition, freedom from the pesticides and chemicals. We are wanting to move away from the processed to the raw.

Yet, I am so bad at this when it comes to emotions and relationships.
Being organic with how I feel. Being raw. Being real.
And most of the time I don't have to. I'm a counselor, so I'm really good at asking other people questions instead of having to share myself. That comes quite naturally. So many times I want to stuff my feelings down beneath the questions, beneath the smile, beneath my Southern hospitality, beneath the approval seeking, beneath the performance driven behavior. A lot of times, the raw is underneath the fake. Perfectionism keeps me isolated. I want to be a good counselor, a good wife, a good friend, a good small group leader, a good Christian. I also want people to perceive me as these things. And that mindset breeds way to hide in shame when struggles do come, when I'm stinking it up in any of those areas. It puts the focus on myself instead of loving Christ and loving others well.

I have noticed though, that I am drawn the most to people who are just completely genuine with who they are, the good, the bad, the ugly.
There is something beautiful about someone being free to fully be themselves and to not have to hide beneath the burden of their own or of others' expectations of them.

So, one of my goals for this year is to be raw, to take off my "perfect mask" and just enjoy being. Part of taking off that mask is to be more transparent and honest about confessing my struggles to others and Jesus, not because I have to, but because it breeds freedom to the deepest part of my soul.

Wounds

Wounds...  Merriam Webster defines it as:  an injury to the body (as from violence, accident, or surgery) that typically involves laceration or breaking of a membrane (as the skin) and usually damage to underlying tissue.

A breaking of the skin and damage to the underlying tissue.
They come in so many sizes and shapes. I still have a few scars on my body from when I got hurt as a child. And I'm sort of one of those weird people who like scars because they have memories behind them. I have one on my knee from where I fell off my bike in my grandmother's driveway. I have another one on my back from where someone's glasses in their pocket tore my skin through my clothes when I bent down to hug them. I have another one on my hand from the first meal that I made for my dad when my mom was out of town when I was 15 when I burnt my hand on the oven. At the time, none of this pain was welcomed or enjoyed. I'm sure I screamed or did not think happy edifying thoughts when each of those instances happened. But now, I look at the scars as memories.

Then there's emotional pain that breaks through the surface to what is underneath. I don't want to pretend that I have experienced more than I have. During adolescence, the most traumatic things that had happened to me were probably break-ups that seemed a really big deal to me at the time but so menial compared to the hurt others my age had. But for me, they were still wounds. They broke that surface and hit the core of me underneath.

While pain can be thought of as these big events, it's also the small everyday things that happen. It could be when I seem to go unnoticed; or when I did not perform as I had hoped I would; or when there is just disappointment in general from my expectations of how life would be; or when I am lonely. This pain is real too and triggers what's underneath, something deeper than just the surface.

Merriam Webster also defines healing a:s to make sound or whole. I am no doctor. I do not pretend to know how exactly the process of healing works. But, I know with any pain, healing is always the goal. A doctor does not just treat symptoms but the disease underneath the symptoms. There are different treatments depending on the disease: whether it's strep throat or diabetes or cancer. The point is, the proper treatment must be put in place for each of the wounds for healing to occur. And so easily we want to think this only applies physically, but it doesn't, the same is true for our emotions and our soul. 

We may have some common symptoms like being sad or anxious that show emotionally. Underneath the symptoms though is pain, and each person's pain is different. I personally like to avoid my pain more than focus on it.  But avoiding doesn't bring healing. Jesus bring healing. So what must be done for us to let Jesus heal us? Well, that may be unique for each of us depending on what the wound is and how severe it is. Some of these examples of healing our pain could be through community, relationship, or counseling. But for all, we must come and show Jesus our wounds, and not only show Him our wounds and tell Him how much it hurts, but give them to Him, maybe day after day or whenever we feel that pain, which may be different for each of us. We are purposefully inviting the healer into the most sensitive, vulnerable, and hurtful places of us while we trust His gentle care to heal us.

My wounds are not the same as someone else's,  but Jesus is the same. His power is shown perfect in weakness. He came for those who NEED Him, not those who can piece it back together on their own.We do not have to be afraid to give our wounds to a loving Savior who bore our sin to give us life.

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." -Matthew 11:28-30-